Wow: This old alum is a huge racist!



SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA—In a stunning revelation, it appears that Jack de Vandersmith, an alum from Duke’s class of ‘65 is, in fact, a racist. Inspiring!


“Racist? Me? Never!” commented Mr. de Vandersmith while snapping open his daily copy of the New York Post and putting his slippered feet up on his custom mahogany coffee table. “I love the people of color! They have such a work ethic. And the women aren’t so bad looking either,” he added. Uh, can you say coolest alumnus ever?


In a further twist, Mr. de Vandersmith is the possessor of considerable means as a result of his four decades in the finance industry. Racist and wealthy? Can you believe it?


Larry Moneta defended the University's continued tolerance of the alum’s presence at Duke fundraising galas by pointing out that “he might be racist, but his money isn't. Funding is funding.”


De Vandersmith still feels connected to the Duke community — he even expressed interest in writing a letter-to-the-editor in the Duke Chronicle about how concerning activists at Duke today are. Um, yes please.