DURHAM, N.C.—Award-winning campus acapella group “The Pitchforks” decided last Saturday after a lively– and, at times, violent– Town Hall discussion to rename their group “The Pitchspoons”.
“While I know that this may come as a shock, especially to our alumni and longtime Pitch Bitches, we feel that this change is necessary to accommodate the changing times,” said Pitchspoons President Jeremiah Moore (Trinity ‘24).
In efforts to break out of their campus reputation as “those gay frat bros with girlfriends and the voices of angels,” The Pitchspoons will branch out of the classic definition of an acapella group.
The group also announced that they will be introducing new aspects to their group. “This year, we’re really breaking down barriers and embracing the unknown and new, like rap music and women,” said Moore.
This news came as a relief to the on-campus eatery Pitchfork Provisions, which has been second-string since the acapella group’s founding in 1979. “We can finally stop being known as ‘the other Pitchforks.’ This is sure to clear up confusion among campus,” said Mikayla Leigh, a Pitchfork Provisions employee.
Many in the student population have expressed relief as well. “For several semesters, my friends have all assumed I have a mac-n-cheese bite addiction,” commented Carla Liberacci, the girlfriend of The Pitchspoons’ president. “Now there won’t be any confusion when I mention I’m going to gobble down some Pitchspoons.”