“¿Cómo están chicas?” bellowed out Todd Barker (T ‘25) as he walked through the Madrid Airport. Finally beginning his semester abroad, Barker was excited to experience another culture, improve his fluency in Spanish, and get laid.
“I was certain I was going to be a pussy magnet out there on the streets of Madrid,” recalls Barker, “I even split up with my girlfriend of 2 years. They say everyone abroad thinks Americans are really sexy.”
When asked whether he got this perception of US reception by studying the way the United States has historically treated the rest of the globe, Barker replied, “Nah I think I saw a TikTok on it.”
Though Barker now admits his research could have been more thorough, he describes his preparation as “intense.” Barker cites Money Heists binges, attempts at learning to bullfight, and even learning “vosotros.”
“It was all for nothing though,” laments Barker, “my first night at the club was such a letdown– they just treated me like everyone else!” No one was interested Barker’s background in wealthy Texas suburb, even when he pointed out the fact that “you guys colonized my hometown first.”
Fortunately, all is not lost for Barker and his love life. He recently started dating a fellow American in his apartment building. “When we lived across from each other in Trinity, I never thought anything of it. But now that we’re in Spain, ella es muy guapa”