DURHAM, NC — Chaos has broken out within Duke’s premiere uncanny resemblance student organization after the true identity of President Wilson Ellis (Trinity ‘24) is in question. According to student member Natasha Litz or Bianca James (sources were unable to determine which one), an argument broke out at the beginning of a routine general body meeting when another member came forward claiming to be Wilson Ellis. This statement divided the group in half, with one part believing the lookalike to be the president, and the other part dissenting.
Sources claim Wilson Ellis’ doppelganger to be Brett Chandler (Trinity ‘25). Chandler is described as being 5 foot 9 with dirty blonde hair, while Ellis is described as having dirty blonde hair and standing at 5 foot 9. Neither student will revoke their stance, and the identity crisis has even started to affect family and friends. Jaden Caldwell (Trinity ‘24), Ellis’ roommate, made the following comment, “Durham police arrived at my door in regards to a missing persons report filed for Brett Chandler, and when they showed me that guy’s picture I was like ‘No, that’s Wilson.’ But then they showed me a photo of Brett’s roommate and it looked like me so who knows.”
Ellis’ mom claims she is “devastated” and “just wants her real son to come back home.” She sobs “This imposter keeps saying he’s my son, but no son of mine would be that much of a disappointment.”
Currently, the only hope for the case to be solved is through blood tests being run by Duke’s biology department. They hope to match the real Wilson Ellis’ blood type to the test results of both clones, which means things will only get messier if both are the same. Thankfully, local high school biology students who got in on the action with some Punnet square practice say the results will more likely than not be the same.
The lookalikes club has dissolved in the wake of the news, with members taking time to find their own identity. This is not the first time that the organization has made the news, with the previous controversy occurring at their “date swap” function last year.