DURHAM, NC—Sources are reporting that there is not likely to be a solar eclipse this week. The election is 56 weeks away, which also...

DURHAM, NC—Following successful DUI and Pitchforks shows, Blackwell House Council President, Thomas Spafford, announced their new plan to...

Imagine. You’re about to take a tender bite out of your double cheeseburger, anticipating the gristly wonder that awaits you, when a...

DURHAM, NC—Midterm season has ended early, or so Keohane 4B residents thought after witnessing the removal of a painting deemed a cause...

LOS ANGELES, CA—The U.S. News and World Report College Ratings recently gave Duke a 10. Unfortunately, judging by west coast standards,...

DURHAM, NC—Duke students are in a tizzy after a freshman discovered that the classroom building’s third-floor bathroom contains another...

DMV AREA— In a striking example of Duke’s random roommate policy succeeding in increasing the social diversity of the University, James...

PENN PAVILION—Despite feeling a sense of excitement while seeing the many opportunities that can significantly alter his life trajectory...

OFFICE OF INSTITUTIONAL EQUITY—A new study published by Duke University researchers has revealed that all so-called “research fraud” is,...

DIVINITY SCHOOL CAFE—A new report suggests that 80% of FLUNCH appointments are straight up attempts for students to raise their grades....

SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA—In a stunning revelation, it appears that Jack de Vandersmith, an alum from Duke’s class of ‘65 is, in fact, a...

MARKETPLACE, EAST CAMPUS—Sources report that freshman Rick Kleinman is anxiously searching both Marketplace dining rooms for a familiar...

PERKINS LIBRARY—Junior Izzy Johnson, exhaling smoke from her Juul e-cigarette into her sweatshirt at a table in Perkins Library, worried...

SHOOTERS II SALOON—The next generation of Duke-accredited Econ majors have discovered a brilliant new way to network: becoming sloppily...

DURHAM, NC—In a recent announcement, Duke administrators announced their plans to move students off of its East and West campuses....

WEST CAMPUS, DUKE UNIVERSITY—Students have responded to the sealing of residential windows on West Campus by blowing marijuana smoke...

ABELE QUAD—Despite petting Nugget for a good three minutes, freshman Kate Davis is still unsure at what point her stresses will go away....

PERKINS LIBRARY—In a frenzy to complete her “unofficial graduation requirements,” Duke senior Jenna Marks is determined to have sex with...

DURHAM, NC—Duke University announced today that, for the fifth year in a row, the prestigious Duke Dining has been ranked #1 for college...